Worst Jokes Ever
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
I slit my wrists.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
What is white and comes out after you have sex?
Cum!
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.