Worst Jokes Ever
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!
“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”
“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”
Borders are fat.
Eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
I don’t love being bored.
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
What has 2 legs and walks? A human.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.