Worst Jokes Ever
What is tyyyyyyyyu?
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?