Worst Jokes Ever

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.

I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.

I have more chin than the Chinese phone book.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sister.

Sister who?

My sister's ass.

"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!

What goes up and down and does not move?

Stairs.

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.

What is ioooooooo?

I miss seeing my friends and teachers.

Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?

I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!