Worst Jokes Ever

What does a car have when it's very itchy?

A road rash.

Me say, "Crack my finger."

My hubby crack my finger.

Now say it backwards.

My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.

What goes after the butt?

The POST-erior.

What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?

Afgan-I-Stand.

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

What is red and shaped like a bucket?

A red bucket.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.

Girl: Hey. Boy: Hi? Girl: I need to tell you something... Boy: WHAT? Girl: I like you. Boy: And I hate you. Boy: YOU'RE A CHICKEN 🐔🐔 🐔 Girl: I HATE YOU YOU POOP 💩💩💩💩 Girl: LOSER L Boy: I thought you said you liked me. Girl: SHUT UP CHICKEN/POOP 💩💩🐔 🐔 Boy: GIRL BYE Girl: Bye Felicia.

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

What’s yellow and can’t swim??

A school bus with elementary kids.

Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?

Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.

Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.

Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.

Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.

Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.

Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.