Worst Jokes Ever
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
Yo mama went to Safeway to be safe.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Anybody home? :)
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What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
My name has "anus" in it.