I love my dog and all dogs.
Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
Why are mountains š so funny? Because theyāre hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Why canāt orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... itās a start.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! Iām winning. Letās go!
Adopted kid:
Iām so glad I have a mom.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
Why couldnāt the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!š
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Welcome to Mississippi.
Hahaha, you have no PP!
Why don't gay men perform anilingus on each other in Greece?
Because anilingus is against the law in Greece.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!