Worst Jokes Ever

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

Why did the farmer eat a fork?

'Cause he's a dumbass.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop onions.

My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.

My favorite joke: My life.

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son and a daughter—twins.

When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They were happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they noticed the woman's kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren't orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids were Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren't orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn't believe, they thought it was the children's reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn't see her children. She asked the teacher... And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them.

When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swung their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, "Yo Momma Lost Ya."

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

Killing someone is better than killing yourself.

Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.

Boi.