Worst Jokes Ever

What does NASA stand for?

Need a star A.S.A.P.!

I will pay someone to kill me.

Apple

Apple

Apple

Apple

Apple

Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?

Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?

Because the principal was going to call his parents.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

What did the tree say to the wind?

Leaf me alone.

My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.

Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!

What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

They're both pointless.

Name an ant which is very heavy?

Eleph-ant.

How to run from Iran?

Iran away!

Yo mama has such a big forehead, she is the CEO of foreheads!

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

What kind of cow has 2 legs?

YOUR MOM!!