"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
Worst Jokes Ever
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Medusa makes men hard.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
"Fuck the school, fuck it!"
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
What’s 2 Mexicans playing basketball called?
"Juan on Juan."
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.