What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Worst Jokes Ever
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
If you play Minecraft too much, you belong to the streets.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!