Worst Jokes Ever

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.

One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,

"We will give you a replacement!"

Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

My favorite species is a cheetah because

Ima cheet-ah on the test.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

Where does a snowman keep his money?

In a snowbank.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

Did you know my grandpa was in WW2? He killed Hitler.

What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?

They were both killed by Romans.

What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!

Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.

Mineta: ...go on...

Denki: Ochako's booty.

Mineta: I don't get it?

Denki: Exactly.

Mineta: *cries T_T*

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|

Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?

GO HOME!

Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/

I have a funny joke: my life.