Worst Jokes Ever
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
Do nut get in my way.
Do nut get in my way.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
Gwen, you on?
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!