Worst Jokes Ever

Ur adopted.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

My sister is so short she can't walk.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?

A bullet.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

Why can't an orphan hit a home run?

They have no home to run to.

What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?

"Wow, Harry!"

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

"Sum ting wong."

What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?

Call 911.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.

Bro, imagine shooting a school for autistic people.