Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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Son, what is 1 plus 1?

Dad, I don't know.

Son, it is 2.

Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.

Sans, why did you buy that pillow? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, grhrh. Sans, you f**k! You wake the f**k up! Frisk comes to the room and ./. You tell Papyrus what happened. Hhhuh, human, heeheheheh. Sans didn't pick up his sock, so I punish him. Sans egjf.

What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?

Some people adopt orangutans.

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.