Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with $20. Jill came down with $40. Fucking whore!!!!

If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

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  • How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

    You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

    Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

    New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

    (Obtained by running over 69 children.)

    A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

    Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

    What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

    The anesthesia takes time to put you under.

    Why is the queen the most powerful piece in chess?

    Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.