Worst Jokes Ever
Deez nuts eat nuts.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Knock knock.
Fuck you!