A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
Worst Jokes Ever
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Mole
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
