Worst Jokes Ever
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
Doom is eternal.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: Because they can’t find home.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Pennywise: "They all float down here!"
Titanic: *hold my beer*
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.