New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.