Worst Jokes Ever
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Look in the mirror.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.