Worst Jokes Ever
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
'Cause they don't know where the home is.
The Stigg and his fake ass life.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
Fard.
Takis.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"