What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
