Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

Wiener.

Why is Russia invading Ukraine?

«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

What's life if you don't have one...

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

Me: I call my girl Cinderella.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because she loves balls.

People with bad past end up creating the worst future...

A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.