Worst Jokes Ever

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"

Eat cockroaches.

What day is Labor Day?

It's the day mommies have their babies.

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!

Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?

Yo, your hairline is so small that you're bald.

Your hairline is so dusty that it got musty.

Yo hairline goes so back it touches Jupiter.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Megamind.

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A Double Manhattan.

Your hairline looks like a car!

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!