Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!