Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
Daddy, harder!
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.
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