Worst Jokes Ever
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
This stuff is messed up, you people.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Your mom and your dad.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.