Worst Jokes Ever
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
The Stigg and his fake ass life.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a playground.
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.