7 jokes

9/11

  • Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

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    Scarecrow

  • 1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

    3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

    4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

    5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

    6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

    7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

    8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

    9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

    10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

    11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

    12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

    13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

    14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

    15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

    16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

    17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

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    Life

  • Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

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  • Emo kid

  • Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

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    Ring

  • How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

    She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

    Homework

  • Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

    Telescope

  • The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

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    Scientist

  • EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳

    Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶

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  • Taco

  • Top 10 Cos:

    1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco

    Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.

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    Career

  • OFFICIAL

    Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!

    1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man

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  • Girlfriend

  • A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

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