50

50 jokes

What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

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  • I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.

    Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

    Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

    Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."