What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
I’d make a joke to fetty wap on this but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
What is 50 cents least favorite store
The dollar store
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats. How many are hungry?
A.10
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize why now she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her,but she was only able to give 50.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
