30s Jokes

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

The image shows two panels at the top. The left panel features a white figure in a blue, snowy scene, labeled "Canadian kids wearing shorts when it's 10 °C out". The right panel shows a black figure in a red, fiery scene, labeled "Australian kids wearing jackets when it's 30 °C out." At the bottom, a stick figure with a confused expression points a finger, accompanied by the text "American kids not understanding the because they don't know what C° is."

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!

🎆

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

When is the best time to go to the dentist?

2:30.

Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”

“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"