30s

30s jokes

Pregnancy Test

Asian pregnancy test:

Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.

Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

Girlfriend

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

Head

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

Memes

Casualty

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

Gun

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

Dick

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

Sex

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Lb

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

Cow

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

Parking spot

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Sister

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

Pilot

“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”

“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”

Orphanage

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.