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14 Jokes

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

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What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

What's the most between my uncle and aunt?

My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

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What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"