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12 jokes

Priest

Whatโ€™s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Blow job

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Mathematician

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

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  • Daycare

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

    Memes

    Genie

    This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

    The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

    The bartender yells at the genie saying, โ€œAre you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!โ€

    The guy from the bar says, โ€œNo shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?โ€

    Sister

    I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

    I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

    Prince

    At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

    Brother

    I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

    When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

    I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

    I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

    (just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

    (He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

    (MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

    Miscarriage

    What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?

    Her miscarriage.

    Emoji

    Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.

    1. ๐Ÿ˜€ What's this emoji meaning? 2. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ What's this emoji meaning? 3. ๐Ÿ˜š What's this emoji meaning? 4. ๐Ÿ˜ What's this emoji meaning? 5. ๐Ÿ˜ What's this emoji meaning? 6. ๐Ÿ˜‹ What's this emoji meaning? 7. ๐Ÿง What's this emoji meaning? 8. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ What's this emoji meaning? 9. ๐Ÿ˜ณ What's this emoji meaning? 10. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ What's this emoji meaning? 11. ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜จ What's this emoji meaning? 12. ๐Ÿ˜ What's this emoji meaning? 13. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ What's this emoji meaning? 14. ๐Ÿค๐Ÿ˜ฃ What's this emoji meaning? 15. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿฅบ What's this emoji meaning?

    The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!

    Girl

    Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didnโ€™t have the decency to drown her at birth.

    Shit

    You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

    Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

    Diary

    I found Jeffrey Epsteinโ€™s diary the other day.

    The last entry was about 12 years old.

    Chicken

    Iโ€™ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

    12 months of training completely wasted.

    Girl

    A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and seeโ€™s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

    Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

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  • Punishment

    People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

    He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

    Reaction

    One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

    Miscarriage

    Whatโ€™s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

    Her miscarriage.