Yours jokes
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Your Da.
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Why is it spicy?
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
Your mum gay. LOL. Funny me!
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.