Yours jokes

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

10 dicks up your mom's ass!

(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!

I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.

Mommy, why is my name Brick???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

Mommy, why is my name Rose???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!

Your hairline starts at the back of your head.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Your Nan.

WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!

Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."

Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)