Yours jokes

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

Why were you born?

Because I asked out your mom on accident.

Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

What's your favorite type of flour?

Don't know.

Mines self-raising.

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.

Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

Imagine a dragon 🤔.

Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.