Yours jokes

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?

A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.

Here's a joke: Your life.

I shit on your furniture.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

Wanna hear a joke?

Your face.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!

You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!

Your face.

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

Your life.

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."