Yours jokes
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
You are a joke.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next... So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
You're overreacting.