Yours jokes

Drunk

52 views ·

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

  • 6
  • Abortion clinic

    379 views ·

    What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

    Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

  • 3
  • Incest

    31 views ·

    If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

    Dad

    Kid: Hey, Dad.

    Dad: You're an hour late.

    Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

    Dad: By yourself?

    Kid: No.

    Dad: A boy?

    Kid: I was with the teacher.

    Sibling

    A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

    The other sibling said, "You are, too."

    Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

    And the sibling says, "We're twins."

    The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

    Candy

    I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

    Life

    18 views ·

    What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

    Bone

    2 views ·

    My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

    Skeleton

    33 views ·

    I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.