Yours jokes

Baseball

279 views ·

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

Skeleton

16 views ·

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

Doctor

4 views ·

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

Mum

1 view ·

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

Coconut

118 views ·

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

  • 2
  • Decapitation

    18 views ·

    If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

    You also can't breathe if you die.

    So why isn't it debreathiation?

    Chimney

    1 view ·

    A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

    The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

    Parent

    21 views ·

    If you have sex and your African parents find out,

    “You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

    Insult

    Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.

    Trashy pig woman: Why?

    Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

    Insult

    36 views ·

    Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

    Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

    Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.