You're jokes

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!

This ain't your mama's monologue.

You blow a kiss up.

Your eyes were bright up your ass.

Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.

You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!

I shit on your furniture.

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.

What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

What type of sound does your crack make?

Answer: Quack!

"Jonny, Jonny?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Eating sugar?"

"No, Papa."

"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-

Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."

Your momma is so fat that she can't even go skinny dipping.

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?

A: You're the chairman of the board!

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"