You're jokes

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor.

Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

My dick is red.

Your pussy's pink.

It's really tight

When you're dead.

Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"

What is Stephen Hawking's mum?

Your mum!

You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."

Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."

Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.

What kind of cow has 2 legs?

YOUR MOM!!

Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!

Have you heard of dideys?

Dideys balls fit in your mouth.

If you're a crucified savior, clap your hands.

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL