You're jokes
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
You're gay, except it...
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
My name is Mariah Carly Brown, and I am an orphan, and what do I say about your jokes that are not funny... STOP THEM!
Dark humor is mean! All day I go to see all the jokes I find, and I see "Orphan jokes."
What kind of sick person likes that kind of joke? By the way, it is not a question. I have 3 twin sisters! Lariah, Kariah, and Iariah! Iariah starts with an i! So stop the jokes, please!
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
You're gay, Amon.
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.