You're jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
"What is your number?" "Hi."
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
Your hairline is Vegeta’s upside down!
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"
Marvin: "I don’t believe that."
Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"
The next morning,
Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.
You're not my dad.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.