You're jokes
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Like if you're emo, LMAO.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"
1, 2, 3, 4, your sis is such a whore,
5, 6, 7, 8, she has cum on her face.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.