You're jokes

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

Have you heard of China...

China fit this dick in your mouth.

Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

You're all gay. HEHEHE!

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.