You're jokes

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

How did you get that? Used your life savings?

اي تيجي اللمة بتخلص your storage

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.

Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

You've got a body inside you--it's called your body bones.

You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.

You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.

I fucked your mum!

Them: "You're ugly."

Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."

Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.

I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.

Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

You're a bish, and you are too!

Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.