You're jokes
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Your website.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Your face with my cum.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Hi, Charlie, is your friend?
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."