You're jokes
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Oof, you're gay!
Your mom gay.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.