You're jokes
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
I fucked your girl.
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.