You're jokes

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!

Your mom.

Yours!

Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

What is the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."

(Pause)

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."

"Jeff who?"

"Bezos."