You jokes

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.

Dream

Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

Robber

A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.

The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"

Memes

Somebody

Me when I’m texting somebody and their spelling is so bad I can’t understand what they’re saying

Three cartoon characters with rectangular yellow heads, wearing black suits, and red sunglasses are shown against a dark background. The middle character has text above his head that says, "I know you need grammar classes."

Rent

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends how hard you can throw them.

Stand

Yahahlmsyw.

That stand for:

You are has a whole, let me show you why.

Time

What time is it when you walk out to the school?

Time to go to school!

Penis

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

Toe

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

Deer

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

Still no idea. 😂

Whale

"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."

Ball

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

Gift

I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.

Dora

Kids- it's time for Dora.

Kids- YAY!

Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.

Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?

Kids- Where's Dora?

Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.

Kids- Poor Dora.

Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!

Swiper - AH MAN!!