You jokes

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?

What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.

Son: No way, you can’t see him though.

Mom: God!

Son: What?

Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).

Son: Also because I’m John Cena.

Mom: Where, where’d ya go?

John Cena: Hey, Mom.

Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.

Why are you gay?

When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.

So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"

Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)

Someone is talking about you behind your back, make a run vhaleka.

Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

(Bob holds Deric's neck)

Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"

What do you call a bad pun?

The pun is not punny!

What did the fork say to the cake?

A: "I want a piece of you!"

I will tell you a joke--your life.

Like if you know what ashes are.