You Jokes

What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.

What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones!

My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?

He was all right.

Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.

Why do you think China should have a baseball team?

They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.

In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.

You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.

Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

Rape is always unequivocally wrong.

Unless it's an AISH worker. Then you give her anal.

Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother has diabetes.

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"